One Year by Jennifer

• Please, visit my website for more and feel free to look over and buy one of my books, posted by John Cowart. Or contact John at johnwcowart (at) gmail (dot) com.

Comments Off on One Year by Jennifer

Moving memories.

I spent the past few days moving apartments, packing boxes, moving boxes, unpacking boxes. In a flurry of dust and cat hair, my wife and I moved our stuff, and cats and memories.  It has been almost a year since Dad died and I was given gentle reminders of it all through the move. Things that he had left to me as mementos of his life that he wanted me to have, and things I had to move.

Each thing had some memory, some condensed piece of history, a fragment of a life, boxed up, picked up and relocated, then came unpacking. Deciding if something was still really important, did it have a value to me beyond the idea that Dad wanted me to have it.  Forcing myself to re-evaluate what is important, one box at a time, with a flood memories of growing up, life and Dad all yelling for their prominence in my head.

All this to say that Dad is still remembered.  Some kind person sent a donation to Dad’s e-book fund, that I had totally forgotten about.  I removed the donation links from those pages, and as part of moving have closed the comments on the site.  Hopefully Dad’s site will continue to provide inspiration and information. If you need to reach me, you can find me or Jennifer or Eve or Patricia or John, or Fred (Ok, maybe not Fred) on Facebook.  Please drop me a line if you need to reach me there,

• Please, visit my website for more and feel free to look over and buy one of my books, posted by John Cowart. Or contact John at johnwcowart (at) gmail (dot) com.

Comments Off on Moving memories.

Jen’s Thanksgiving Post

Well we have made to nine months post dad passing away. It feels surreal that we are without him and mom to call, read his blogs, or get the spur of the moment lets go out to eat calls. There is so much I miss, we all miss.

Patti told me that she and Eve were discussing how odd it is from last thanksgiving to this one. What a difference a year can hold. 15710140327_38ba094935_k
Last thanksgiving, dad wanted us all to gather together for a Cowart family Thanksgiving vacation. It was awesome! We gathered, ate, laughed, had a scooter train,and fellow shipped together in a cabin at Suwannee river state park. Dad had us promise that we would do this every year in his and moms memory of their anniversary. From past blogs, you might know that very November mom and dad took an anniversary vacation. They planned all year and looked forward to those times so much.
cowart kids 1979
This year has flown by, it’s strange when you are a kid, a year seems like forever. Christmas is so far away to wait for. As an adult my days rush and stream one into another and holidays approach way faster each year that passes. I am dreading the holidays this year. I know that is a normal part of grief. I miss my family so much. I have so many memories full of joy, laughter and time together, I miss being that kid watching mom and dad trying to hide gifts, devotions after supper every night like clockwork. I miss hearing jones station on the radio when I would take a nap in mom and dads bedroom. I miss watching dad chase mom in the kitchen when she was trying to cook. I miss mom’s roasts and dad’s slumgullion. There is so much that I can’t begin to write. cowart kids 1980

So this year thanksgiving will be different. None of us could do a vacation together in November, but Me, Eve, Mark, Aunt Rikki and Aunt Julie were able to get together in September at Patti and Rob’s in Chatham, Illinois. I have so many happy memories to be thankful for. I have my siblings, family and friends that share the happy memories with. We might not be able to be all together this year, but thankfully for technology, we will skype together and plan for next years vacation to reconnect with each other. I am so thankful for a mom and dad that gave me a super childhood and family and friends to continue sharing with.

Happy thanksgiving and remember that the connections you have are so precious.  Mom and dad taught us that valuable lesson.

• Please, visit my website for more and feel free to look over and buy one of my books, posted by John Cowart. Or contact John at johnwcowart (at) gmail (dot) com.

Comments Off on Jen’s Thanksgiving Post

Monday, Tuesday, Happy Days…

Another repost 🙂 of a happy day.  For a sometimes self proclaimed grump, Dad had a plethora of happy days.  And the joy of this one is somewhat in the hindsight.  For Donald’s new girl is not scared off…she becomes the daughter in love mentioned in later blogs.


Saturday morning Ginny & I drove to Country Kitchen for a leisurely breakfast before a trip to the grocery store. As the waitress cleared the table we broke out pens and planned our menu for the next few weeks.

Yes, we are planners.

Years ago Ginny made out this menu planning form which we use constantly. One side of the sheet lists the days of the week; the other side has a topical grocery shopping list.

First we fill in the dates, then write down activities we’re involved in. For instance, a friend asked me to drive him to the hospital on Sept.2nd; Ginny has an eye test Thursday, etc. Then we write down meals which fit in with those activities (Finger food for Monday Night Football) .Then, on the grocery side of the sheet, we write down what we need to buy for that particular meal.

Our planned menu is not chiseled in stone but on any given day we have a fair idea of what to cook for supper without having to make a decision at the end of each day.

Today we also added items to replenish our hurricane supplies. Of course, being Floridians, we keep basic hurricane supply kits in car and closet year round, but a few weeks ago we crossed paths with a poor family going through a rough patch and they got our surplus food stuffs so we felt it wise to restock.

Hurricane Katrina still hovers south of us and that causes us some anxiety.

No, the projected path of the storm does not include Jacksonville. No problem there — maybe.

But there’s a kicker for us in that we plan to go on vacation in a couple of months – we reserved and paid for our cabin back in January – and our vacation spot on the Gulf lies directly in the storm’s path.

That happened to a friend of our’s last year, when he went to his cabin, a storm (I think it was Francis) had wiped out the state park, he had to turn around and come back.

Assuming that our cabin on the beach is not washed away by Katrina, we spent all afternoon planning our vacation trip.

The anticipation is so much fun!

We floated on air mattresses in the pool talking about what to pack (our binoculars and bird books, mosquito repellant, negligees ), what to buy (good hiking boots, digital camera), where we want to eat (Bamboo House and that fried oyster place for sure), things we want to do (boat tour on the Gulf), sights we want to see (Lighthouse Point, wildlife refuge), and even clothes we want to wear (the tee shirts we bought at Goodwill last year).

We had such a wonderful time planning and anticipating.

Looking forward to an event can be as much fun as the event itself.

Of course, all our plans hinge on following the will of God. Here’s a link to a cartoon I enjoy about planning (It’s supposed to move but I can’t get that part right).

We love to anticipate happy things such as our vacation, but we also plan as well as we can for less desired events. For instance, when we bought our home ten years ago, one of the things we considered was our age and health; if we should ever need a wheelchair ramp, we can install one here.

The tiniest things can knock plans whopajaw. A ring of the phone, a knock at the door, a microscopic virus, a dead cell in the car battery, a drunk driver – tiny, unforeseen, unplanned for factors can change lives and plans forever.

In January 2004, we started planning a vacation trip for last year but as soon as we started, both Ginny and I felt a check in our spirits. That’s hard to explain but we both independently knew that we should not make that planned trip. So we cancelled those plans. This year, we both feel free to plan and anticipate the same trip.


So, some events we view with anticipation while others we regard with apprehension. As we do our part, the final outcome of any matter is all in God’s hands.

Here’s another matter of some concern for us.

Friday night Donald called saying he wants to bring his new girlfriend to meet us over lunch today. We wonder if we will pass inspection.

Poor Donald.

As my old aunt used to say about another young man, “I think the devil owed him a debt and decided to pay him off in women”.

Donald’s heart has been broken several times as he courted various girls and saw things disintegrate for one reason or another.

I don’t understand why he has such a difficult time hitching up with a dream girl.

Donald is employed and sober and he actually wants to get married!

In this day and age, considering the other young men I see around, those three qualities alone should put him high on the list for any young woman.

In addition, he is kind, generous, intelligent, and romantic. He wants someone to love and lavish affection on.

On the other hand, he does keep a vile, nasty cat – but then you can’t expect him to be perfect.

He has said that he wants a marriage and family life just like Ginny and I have.

We’re flattered.

But I feel a little apprehensive about meeting his latest date. I sure don’t want to scare her off. Ginny and I plan to be low-key and nice and on our best behavior.

I don’t have time to mow the yard today, but we plan to clean house. And I’ll shave. And I won’t smoke inside around her. And I won’t tell her any of the good jokes. And we plan to ….

To Hell with plans!

Never fails when we expect company….

Ginny just walked in telling me that the toilet won’t flush! I’ll have to fix that immediately. And we have this over-the-commode cabinet thing filled with plants and seashells and knickknacks and bottles of shampoo — that thing has to be moved before I can lift the tank lid…


This is not the way I planed to spend my Sunday

• Please, visit my website for more and feel free to look over and buy one of my books, posted by John Cowart. Or contact John at johnwcowart (at) gmail (dot) com.

1 Comment

A Repost of a Happy Day from the Blog July 2005

Ginny & I enjoyed an unexpected pleasant day; she’d clustered several doctors’ appointments for this morning and we held grim prospects of a day sitting around a waiting room, but it didn’t work out that way at all.

I was up at my usual 4 a.m. filling out online government forms to register books with the Library of Congress and puzzling over their conversion software for converting ten digit ISBNs to the new 13 digit ones. Of course after you do all that, there are still only ten blanks on the forms where you can insert the numbers ???? Mysterious. Maybe I got it right. I’m sure they’ll let me know if I didn’t.

Workmen have been replacing wooden ties along the railroad tracks near our home. They piled the old ties in a field for later pick up. We thought these might be a good textured background for a new author’s photo for the back of Glog, a novel I plan to publish next month about a dinosaur who prays for divine guidance. So early, before the first doctor visit, we posed:

tTo our surprise, Gin’s first test proved to be a walk-in-walk out affair. So we enjoyed a leisure breakfast at Denny’s. Over morning coffee we compared our experience with prayer to going to a charity hospital’s emergency room. You go in hurting only to find 38 people there ahead of you. You put in your request with full confidence that the Doctor will help you – but, until He gets around to you, all you can do is endure. You may be miserable in that waiting room, but you know that help will eventually come… It’s just that they haven’t pulled your number yet.

Not a cheerful view of prayer, but that describes our personal experience best.

Since we had extra time, we drove to a store to shop for stuff we’ve been meaning to buy but just haven’t gotten around to: bird seed, a dishpan, shower curtain, etc. Nothing urgently needed but things we were glad to mark off our list.

Off to a new doctor’s office for Ginny’s next two tests. I told the tech doing the bone density test that it was not needed because Ginny is the densest woman I’ve ever met, but he gave her the test anyhow.

Then we drove to a hardware store to replace a broken drawer handle. Of course the salesman said, “They don’t make ‘em in that size anymore”. He wanted to special order a new one for $38; but since, years ago, we’d only paid $40 for that chest anyhow, we decided to pass on that bargain.

We enjoyed lunch at Harpoon Louie’s. We ate outside on the deck overlooking Fishweir Creek. No other customers were there so we sat for two hours sipping tea, munching fried onion rings, smoking, watching birds and tide, and talking: Here’s a photo we took of Fishweir Creek:Back home we discovered four pleasant surprises:

  1. Ginny’s mother sent us a nice birthday check.
  2. My computer blog, which had disappeared for some reason this mo0rning, is back online.
  3. Ginny applied for a job as a budget analyst months ago and today personnel called arranging an interview with her. I have no idea what a budget analyst does, but Ginny understands and she’s excited at the prospect.
  4. The Library of Congress sent me the control numbers for both Glog and Letters From Stacy. So all systems are go for those two books.

Gin & I spent the afternoon dabbling in the garden, napping, reading and talking about books.

Our Bible reading after supper came from John’s Gospel, about the second miracle Jesus performed and we puzzled over the structure of the passage. Gin said the word “believed” is used with two different meanings and I’m confused over the time element mentioned. The more we read of Scripture, the less we understand.

We transferred, with much pain and anguish, wailing and gnashing of teeth, the photos we took this morning. Then tried to decided which one made me look less like a dork to use on the Glog book jacket…. Maybe a pix of the other dinosaur would be better.

Spent the evening reading novels and so to bed.

We thought we were going to spend this day hanging around waiting rooms, instead, we enjoyed a delightful time together. You can never tell what a day may bring forth.

Visit for more!

• Please, visit my website for more and feel free to look over and buy one of my books, posted by John Cowart. Or contact John at johnwcowart (at) gmail (dot) com.

Comments Off on A Repost of a Happy Day from the Blog July 2005

Muppets by Jennifer

“Saturday nights God watches the Muppets!” Dad decreed.

Growing up each night we sat around the dinner table, afterwards having family bible readings, jokes and songs. Devotions. But Saturday nights our families favorite show came on, The Muppets! No DVRs back then! One night after eating we began the discussion with Mom and Dad that it was not fair that other kids didn’t have to do devotions, we were missing our tv shows! Donald, I believe, came up with the logical argument that God created TV and the muppets.  Therefore, God watched it from heaven! So it became a family tradition that every Saturday night devotions consisted of watching the muppets  together with God.

We all tried to figure out who was which Muppet then and as the years passed by. Mom and Dad were Jim Henson and Frank Oz creating and encouraging whimsical dreams. Donald was a mix of Fozzie Bear and Dr. Bunsen Honeydew.  Helen would be sweet, kind Robin the frog. Eve hits the pitches of Beaker! Eve is like the down to earth wisdom of Rowlf and the “stand by your man” pretty cuteness of Camilla the chicken. Mark, her husband, and the newest muppet, Walter, have the same gentleness and courage. Our little, Patricia, we teased was “The Great Gonzo” but she argued she was dropped off by Gonzo and resembled Lew Zealand, the crazy boomerang fish thrower! Personally, I think she is more like the rare, beautiful dancing bird muppets preformed by the London ballet. After her husband, Rob’s recent skateboard accident, I figure he is one of the lost Zucchini Brothers! Wes Basset and Dad were dead ringers for the sarcastic, humourous Statler and Waldorf! (Or at times Burt and Ernie!) The Lees – GranRandy, Lisa and Rachel we compared to the Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem! Cool, musical, entertaining and some of the most awesome people to be with! Rachel and my godson, Brandon, share the antics of Animal! Fred was the Swedish Chef. Johnny a cross of Sam the Eagle and Bruno.

As for me, everyone agreed early that I am Miss Piggy incarnate! I take that as such a fun compliment. Miss Piggy does have the best fashion sense and karate chop kicks! My Kermit is definitely Terri, coordinating the characters in our home!

Watching the Muppets all those years we saw how they always pulled together, had fun, never left a man or muppet behind, shared good times and bad jokes. The zany cast of characters: regulars, walk ins and celebrities easily mirrored our life.

Fast forward to two days after dads death. Patricia had an early flight back to Illinois. We didn’t want her to go. She didn’t want to go. I felt raw. I felt like the world was collapsing. We were emotionally and physically exhausted from caring for Dad. Watching the last curtain of his life fall.

But God sent the muppets.

Sad and tired we got in the car taking Patti to the airport.  Eves phone synced to the radio playing softly as we chatted. Eve was driving with Patricia in the front seat, me behind her in the backseat.

Have you ever had a moment happen in life that seemed straight out of a movie? A magical moment where life is perfect, all the world is good, butterflies flutter, birds sing, love is all you need, rainbows beam and it feels like your heart is soaring.

Our magical moment began with “Lifes a Happy Song!” Eve, Patti and I began singing along with the Muppets going down the highway. My sadness swirled into so many happy memories of our family. We were singing, holding hands. If this had have been on a movie, Eve’s car would have been glowing with the soft yellow glow of love, a rainbow trailing us and a glorious sun rise! Next came “Rainbow Connection” a song that as a children we sang in celebration of God, life, fun and Muppet joy.

Being in that magical moment, I felt all the love between us and utter joy. It was like God and Dad  (and Mom) got together to wonderfully remind us that we were ok. We could sing in chaos and sorrow. Exploding with the childlike happiness of a favorite shared memory.

One of the lyrics in “Rainbow Connection” is “..Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices….The voice might be one and the same…”

That early morning God’s voice came thru the Muppets

• Please, visit my website for more and feel free to look over and buy one of my books, posted by John Cowart. Or contact John at johnwcowart (at) gmail (dot) com.


Father’s Day by Jennifer

Father’s Day

Today is bittersweet.

I celebrate the super dad we had. I cry for my awesome batty-daddy I miss. I mourn for those who had sucky fathers, or no father at all. I cheer for the men who are trying everyday for their kids!

There have been so many emotions I have gone thru this week.

I didn’t think it would bother me on Monday when I looked at the calendar. Tuesday, I thought all day how wonderful God our father is. I said prayers for Fred and Johnny. Wednesday, I was missing Donald so I sent him a card. Thursday I felt bored, grouchy, hungry (well, that’s most days!). Friday, Eve and I enjoyed spending the day together. Saturday, I laughed and vented with Patricia calling. Sunday, Father’s Day, I have cried with Terri and am heading out to put flowers on the headstones.

Last year, our last Father’s Day with dad, we all met at Arden’s. The restaurant was hot, packed, busy. I know I got dad something, but I can’t remember. I remember he was in so much pain walking. He was in so much pain missing mom. Dad was happy just being with each of us hearing our inane chattering. Asking each of us what was going on in our lives. He always loved celebrating us, our family.

I told dad many times that if everyone had a dad like him the world would be a better place.

Dad humbly reminded me he was human. Dad never realized how great he was to so many. I am proud that in the last months of his life, he finally began to see how loved he was. He said “All I’ve ever done is be me. I didn’t do anything special for folks.”

Sometimes you get a glimpse of how the threads in your life build and entwine to impact others. I think that was a gift the Holy Spirit gave dad.
Our blessing was having him as our dad. Dad never stopped reminding us that God,our Father is perfect. God loves you unconditionally.

God loves you when you don’t get it.
God celebrates your joys.
God knows your pain,sorrow, losses, sins.
God knows the core of you. The you that no one sees. The you He created.
You will always be the one He designed and purposes to thread in this world.
On this Father’s Day, I hope the Holy Spirit opens your eyes to those who love you, especially your Father.

• Please, visit my website for more and feel free to look over and buy one of my books, posted by John Cowart. Or contact John at johnwcowart (at) gmail (dot) com.

Comments Off on Father’s Day by Jennifer

Fantastic Father

Neither Father’s Day or Mother’sDay had a big influence in our family.  Sure, we did the card or presents but it was never really a big deal.  But we always knew that they were wonderful parents even if we didn’t make a big deal about their day.  So here’s one example of dad being a fantastic father.

I have never been a loud person.  I do it for my job or sometimes around my sisters, I am louder but it doesn’t feel natural to me to be loud.

So Dad took me out on “dates”.  We would go out to lunch just the two of us.   And we would talk or I would talk and he would always listen to me.  I didn’t have to be loud to be heard.   My favorite time was when he took me out to experience a poo-poo platter for the first time.  He had written to me about it while we were visiting Grandparents in Maryland.   Apparently, he had tried it at a local Chinese restaurant and was going to take me out to have it when we came back.  It was this funny sounding dish and it was fun experiencing it with Dad.  They basically bring out this tiny little charcoal grill to your table and you get to cook or warm up your own food.   We cooked and ate and talked.  It wasn’t an everyday experience but it always made me feel so special.  Not the what we did but the taking time out of everything and everyday stresses to be listened to by my dad.  He was and is a fantastic father (as explained in the picture below) and I miss him every day.  I drew it while he was sitting at his desk working but decided that he might not be recognized if I didn’t include a drawing of his face.  It was published in the Pennywhistle Press (a local kids insert) in 1984 and this copy hung up at my parent’s house for almost as long : )


• Please, visit my website for more and feel free to look over and buy one of my books, posted by John Cowart. Or contact John at johnwcowart (at) gmail (dot) com.

Comments Off on Fantastic Father

Slow to recover but something to remember…

Good times, bad times and everything in between - God has never, ever left my side.

Join me on Facebook

Join me on Instagram

• Please, visit my website for more and feel free to look over and buy one of my books, posted by John Cowart. Or contact John at johnwcowart (at) gmail (dot) com.


Two years – Two months

Today, April 22, 2015, is the two year anniversary of mom’s passing and two month anniversary since dad passed away.

Strangely, Eve, is in the hospital due to an emergency gallbladder bursting. Eve said it feels “surreal” to be in the hospital today. When we first heard Eve had gallbladder issues, Patricia and I immediately worried about gallbladder cancer because of mom’s rare bile duct cancer. I even asked her surgeon to check out her insides while he was in there anyway to be sure!

Strange where your mind goes in grief!

Thankfully, Eve is doing much better and should go home to recuperate.

Dad wrote every month in his personal calendar on the 22nd, Ginny’s been gone one month, two, twelve…etc all the way till February 22 when he passed.  On the 22nd, Dad would go visit mom’s resting place. He often went other times because he missed her so.

We all knew he was holding on for something when he was at the end. The goodbyes were said. His body was failing. We realized that he was holding on to pass on the 22nd. We tried to lie and say it was the 22nd on the 21st, but dad’s always know when their kids fib.

I think it was another way dad wanted to be joined to mom. Theirs was such an amazing love. Us kids and everyone who knew mom and dad witnessed that deep love they shared.

So the 22nd is not just a sad reminder that they are gone…it is also a reminder of a beautiful love.

A love that lives on in our hearts, in our memories. We feel their love with us still.

image image

• Please, visit my website for more and feel free to look over and buy one of my books, posted by John Cowart. Or contact John at johnwcowart (at) gmail (dot) com.

Comments Off on Two years – Two months

Older Entries