A Vile, Nasty Bank Robber–John

Tuesday, February 25, 2014
A Vile, Nasty Bank Robber Named John

Jesse James poster
The lead story in yesterday’s Florida Times-Union newspaper reads:

Federal authorities have charged a former Jacksonville bank vice president with embezzling $10.5 million for himself and customers, oddly using the money to help them with loans and other banking favors, court records show.

Christopher David Boston, 40, entered into a plea agreement with prosecutors last week in which he admitted to the thefts from Fifth Third Bank over a 3½-year period, records show.

The guy’s photo looks nothing like me, but this morning when I went to make a deposit—a deposit, mind you, not a withdrawal, a deposit–in my bank account… you’d have thought I was Mr. Boston himself.

I came out of the bank feeling like a criminal. The staff made me feel as though they suspected me of fraud, embezzlement and kicking kittens—maybe they are touchy because of their compatriot’s making the headlines.

But why take it out on me?

And I’ve had the same account over 50 years! The bank keeps changing names but my account stayed the same—the place is now called Wells-Fargo. Aren’t they the same crew that used to stickup stage coaches in the old west?

I intend to open an account at some other bank—I understand from the newspaper that Fifth Third Bank knows how to treat desperadoes right.

Ain’t none of ‘em mean me any good.

OK—now I’ve vented.

What does the Lord want me to learn from my unpleasant experience this morning?

Patience, I suppose.

Not to rely on the arm of men, I suppose.

Don’t get my hopes up, I suppose.

Study to become a bank vice president so I can loot suckers big time?

Renew my food stamp application?

Never let a stranger hold your money?

All of the above.

Say what you will about Jesse James, he sure had a way with banks.

A few years back, I wrote a history article titled, Jesse James and Me.… this morning’s encounter at the bank reminded me of how much Jesse and I have in common… and how little.

• Please, visit my website for more www.cowart.info and feel free to look over and buy one of my books www.bluefishbooks.info, posted by John Cowart. Or contact John at johnwcowart (at) gmail (dot) com.

1 Comment

One Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Wes
    Feb 26, 2014 @ 00:10:44

    I already know about you and kicking kittens.