Rabid Fun

John Cowart's Daily Journal: A befuddled ordinary Christian looks for spiritual realities in day to day living.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Stage Fright

Checking the site stats for my website, www.cowart.info this morning I see that over 3,000 readers have visited the site already this month.

Panic attack!

Scares the hell out of me!

What do they expect from me?

They are all looking right at me.

What should I do?

What in the world do I have to say to an audience that large?

Are they disappointed when they read the trivial meanderings of my recorded days?

It seems to me when I read other people’s blogs that the world is filled with excellent writers, people who live exciting lives, who experience funny things, who have significant things to say.

And most of my postings simply tell about sitting at my desk writing, or about working in my garden, or about seeing a bird at the feeders – simple, everyday stuff of no importance to anyone but me.

A temptation comes:

I feel I need to manufacture important things to say.

As a Christian I get to thinking that I’m responsible to tell the reading world about how to be saved, about how to live in crisis, about how to handle problems, about the Glory of Christ, dramatic answers to prayer, miraculous healings, etc. etc. – in other words, to lie about my life and interests.


I tend to forget that I’m a cog in God’s wheels.

Surely the Almighty and Everlasting God can honor Himself thru a simple guy sitting at his desk trying to do his duty or mowing his grass or loving his wife or enjoying a bird.

But deep inside, I want my life to be a Hollywood Spectacular with seas parting and martial music and crowds cheering – and ME in the staring role with a disheveled Marilyn Monroe, two thirds out of her bodice, clinging to my muscular thigh as I protect her from heathen barbarian hordes with my shining sword… Dream on John!

Yes, sometimes God does come as a mighty rushing wind; but most often He comes as silently, as imperceptibly as dew forming on a morning spider web. The important thing for us to know is that He comes daily.

So, what did I really do yesterday?

I sat at my desk editing the Stacy Letters. Thanks be to God.

Please, visit my website for more www.cowart.info and feel free to look over and buy one of my books www.bluefishbooks.info
posted by John Cowart @ 6:24 AM


At 6:57 PM, Blogger Karen said...

As one of the many readers, I'd have to say I love reading about what you do day to day, no need to lie.

It makes me feel less lonely that someone struggles and finds their own life boring.

Tell us more about what you know about Jesus and GOD, thats always exciting!!


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