Rabid Fun

John Cowart's Daily Journal: A befuddled ordinary Christian looks for spiritual realities in day to day living.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

On Being A One-Ply Christian

Again today I re-discovered that my religion is as thin and flimsy as one-ply toilet paper.

I’m fine as long as I’m safely on a roll, but let the slightest bit of friction come, let something rub me the wrong way, and -- well, there’s a nasty break through.

As often happens, today’s break through came because of my own expectations; I’d envisioned spending the weekend in a certain way accomplishing certain things important to me. Instead, I find other people have other plans. As usual, this rubs me the wrong way. I grow frustrated. My Christianity rips.

And there you have it!

This afternoon I vented a lot of this frustration in the presence of my daughter Eve – who had nothing whatsoever to do with the situation. Eve is a gentle fawn of a girl who just happened to be in the room when Dad began his rant.

Did I complain about the situation at hand?

No. I raged about everything that bugged me from an unexpected $400 bill, to the government’s handling of the war in Iraq, to the carpetbagger jaguar football team moving from Jacksonville (leaving losers), to the letter “i” sticking on my keyboard.

Poor Eve got to see the real me – the bitter, sour, grump who lurks brooding beneath my thin layer of Christian faith.

Incidentally, one reason Eve was over at my house – after treating me to a nice lunch out – was to set up her own blog. She made her first posting today. Please visit her new site to leave a comment welcoming her to blogging. Her site is called Of Cabbages And Kings and it’s found at http://www.eveyq.blogspot.com/

Anyhow, does the breaking through of my frustrations, my ranting and raving and exposing the ugliness that underlies my thin, flimsy faith, prove that that faith is not real?

When a Christian falls, does that mean his faith is only a misty vapor?

On one hand, it would be easy to say that a person who acts like me, is not a real Christian. Real Christians don’t say the sort of things I said.

But I am a real Christian. I’m a born-again, fire-baptized, spirit-filled, card-carrying Christian and I’ve got a tee-shirt and bumper sticker to prove it! (My tee-shirt says: JESUS LOVES YOU – BUT I’M HIS FAVORITE)!

On another hand, does such behavior as mine mean I’m just a hypocrite, pretending to be a Christian but just using Jesus to enhance my own reputation?

That could be.

I do believe better than I act. But I’m working on that one.

On still another hand (yes, three hands), does the behavior of any frustrated Christian under stress, when the faith hits the fan, mean that Christianity is false. That there’s really nothing to it?

Not necessarily.

The truth of Jesus in no way depends on being propped up by His followers.

He is Himself whatever we are.

Besides if, being a Christian, I can be such a mean, bitter, sour, nasty old grouch underneath my one-ply faith – just imagine what I’d be like without that thin redeeming film of God’s grace!

Sad, isn’t it?

And here I thought so highly of my own shining, sterling example as a model Christian. I though so much better of myself than that. I expected more of me … Maybe that’s the whole trouble right there.

Please, visit my website for more www.cowart.info and feel free to look over and buy one of my books www.bluefishbooks.info
posted by John Cowart @ 7:14 AM


At 5:15 PM, Blogger Jaws said...

LOL I think we must have drank from the same water jug this morning John. I did a bit of ranting myself today only to be smacked in the head with a picture.


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